We’re in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Hosts are Michael Cole, JBL & Booker T. This is the fall-out show from Extreme Rules and somewhat of a hype show for this week’s special King of the Ring broadcast on the Network. Doing alternate shows is working quite well for me as I’ve had two weeks to forget about the horrible booking of Seth Rollins in the lead up to Extreme Rules and come into this show feeling refreshed. Let’s see how long that lasts!
Promo Time: Seth Rollins Seth has survived his first PPV as champion, albeit in a dreadful title match. “It was a great match up” lies Cole. It was all about Kane. Despite the RKO being “banned” there were several RKO’s in the match and it finished with a pinfall from an RKO. Seth running through his achievements is already getting old, like Chris Jericho’s constant reminders that he beat The Rock and Steve Austin in the same night. This is the problem with the champion coming out here and flapping his gums every week when he’s got nothing to say. Seth amuses himself by calling Kane the Cryptkeeper (“an old relic from the 90s”) instead of the Gatekeeper. Kane retorts by comparing Rollins to Justin Bieber. The two get into an argument about wrestling ability until Randy Orton comes out here. He figures the use of the RKO is grounds for a rematch. But you used it too! It’s make fun of Rollins night tonight as Randy calls him “Catwoman”. Orton wants another title shot but out comes Roman Reigns. His rebuilding process is going quite well and he’s not booed. He also makes fun of “Justin Bieber”. “You’re going to have to sing us a song or something Seth”. Kane promises the “WWE Universe” can decide who gets a shot at Payback but tonight Kane & Rollins face Orton & Reigns. Another long opening chat but at least a few barbs at Seth’s appearance caused chuckles. King of the Ring 2015 bracket: Dolph Ziggler vs. Bad News Barrett Stardust vs. R-Truth Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus Neville vs. Luke Harper It’s almost as if the winner is the #1 contender for the IC title as all those gentlemen are in that division. 6 of them challenged for the IC title at WrestleMania! The other two probably would have if Sheamus wasn’t injured and Neville in NXT at the time. King of the Ring Quarter Final Dolph Ziggler vs. Bad News Barrett Crowd are pro-Ziggler and they’ve been cheering faces like they’re supposed to. Ziggler always brings a tonne of effort to his matches. I get the feeling he always intends to steal the show and I appreciate that. Booker steals the show here though by retelling his King of the Ring victory and claiming to have grown up a “poor kid in Liverpool, England”. Meanwhile, in the ring, Barrett continues his new-found Indy style by having virtually every move a finisher or a counter of one. It’s really exciting and on the way to being a great match when Sheamus comes out to distract. Naturally this leads to the Bull Hammer. At least it wasn’t a roll up but these ‘distraction’ finishes are so lazy. Final Rating: **1/2 Tyson Kidd vs. Big E. Xavier Woods thanks The New Day’s “clappers” as the crowd chant that they suck. Xavier tries to get “New Day rocks” over. It doesn’t work. JBL calls the New Day’s positivity “garbage”. Of all the possible New Day vs. Kidd & Cesaro combos, this is the worst match they could have come up with. Not that it matters as Big E wins with Xavier Woods grabbing the foot. Final Rating: DUD Video Control gives us a quick recap of Cena vs. Rusev last night and they’ve gone and booked Rusev vs. Cena again at Payback. This time in an I Quit match. Good lord, they’re intent on killing Rusev with this Cena feud. He’ll be dead in the water after that match. Unless they pull something with Lana. There’s definitely something going on there from a booking perspective. Ryback vs. Bo Dallas Bo gets a little more than I was expecting, a chinlock. Lariat sets up the Shellshock. Game over. Perhaps upset with the treatment of his brother (in the real world, not kayfabed) Bray Wyatt shows up from nowhere and lays Ryback out with Sister Abigail. Why? “For some reason” says Cole. Thanks for the analysis! I wonder if they’re going to acknowledge that Dallas is Wyatt’s brother? Final Rating: ½* WWE United States Championship John Cena (c) vs. Heath Slater This is yet another in Cena’s run of open challenges. It’s been a good idea but the PPV matches with Rusev have taken away from the gimmick a little. Cena has a chat with the audience first, pointing out if he loses to Rusev he’ll not request a rematch because he won’t deserve it, a sly poke at Rusev’s multiple rematches. Seeing as Slater is a joke Rusev comes out here and kills him to prevent the match from taking place. Final Rating: N/R Video Control takes us backstage where Seth Rollins wants clarification on Kane’s comments regarding letting the WWE fans decide the Payback title match. Kane adds a wrinkle into the voting by saying the fans can vote for a triple threat match, if they so desire, via the WWE App. I hope they still don’t vote for Orton. King of the Ring Quarter Final R-Truth vs. Stardust R-Truth promises to rid the WWE of spiders if he wins the King of the Ring. Booker compares Cody Rhodes to Cassius Clay, which almost makes sense. Only Muhammed Ali actually won stuff. Stardust, as per usual, is all personality and weirdness but hollow in terms of action. Lots of rest holds for a short match. Truth forces the pace and when Stardust tries to come off the ropes he catches the Lie Detector for the pin. I’m actually shocked Truth won but Stardust is going nowhere fast so why not. Final Rating: *3/4 Video Control gives us a big shill for the Network. I had the email this morning. Jerry Springer tonight, King of the Ring Tuesday, Mick Foley’s comedy special on Wednesday, Jericho interviews Stephanie McMahon on Thursday. Decent line-up. I’d watch all that…apart from Springer. Fandango vs. Adam Rose Battle of the Jobbers! The match features Rosa being one of the Rosebuds. A Rosa-bud? She shakes her shoulders around ringside and the distracted Fandango gets laid out with the Party Foul. The old wrestler gets distracted to lose trick. Why, I’ve not seen that since the opening match! It’s an underused finish. It’s not until Rosa cuts a heel promo that I remember the heel-face alignment in this and I’m still not sure I understand it. Both guys are worthless so it’ll go nowhere anyway, unless a series of matches on Superstars counts for anything. Final Rating: DUD Video Control takes us backstage where Brie Bella is actually asked about Daniel Bryan and his injuries. I thought they were deliberately keeping them apart? Brie gets shoved over by Naomi. Oh good grief, are the Bellas faces now? They just sound so disingenuous when they talk. Brie Bella vs. Naomi Brie takes a beating and the match is slightly better than recent Bella contests because Naomi, as a heel, can lead the match and she’s a better wrestler. Brie makes more sense as a face, from a wrestling perspective. Even if her interviews and stupid ticks, “BRIE MODE”, scream heel. Naomi wins with a roll up. This divas division is terrible. As per usual this was bad wrestling. Brie sucks in the ring. Final Rating: ¼* King of the Ring Quarter Final Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus JBL starts making Game of Thrones references comparing Ambrose to the Mad King, Aerys Targaryen. Then he segues into saying that if you beat someone up in the ring you’re just doing your job. Blue Meanie would say differently. They do some ok countering although some of the spots look a bit awkward. For instance a bulldog from Ambrose where Sheamus picks him up to block it and then puts him back down again. Then a tope where Sheamus gingerly strolls out of the way and Ambrose just stops. The match is full of these half ideas. The commentators get bored and start talking about former Kings of the Ring. That’s usually a bad sign. They finally come up with something organic when Dirty Deeds is countered into the Cloverleaf. That’s the kind of thing they go for all match but that’s the only time it really works. They start brawling around on the floor and I figure someone is about to get counted out as the camera deliberately pans back to the ref. Brogue Kick and that should do it but Dolph Ziggler runs in for the DQ with Ambrose basically counted out at the same time. So Sheamus wins twice! Good work, fella. Final Rating: *3/4 Tangent: If Dean Ambrose really was the lunatic they make him out to be, this would lead to him beating the shit out of Dolph Ziggler at random before some kind of violent showdown. He wouldn’t even need to turn heel. They’ve got a reason to fight, so do it. Should be a good match. Video Control gives us clips from Miz’s ‘dramatic’ victory over Damien Sandow last week. Who didn’t see that turn coming from Summer Rae? They literally only put her with Sandow to turn her heel. Promo Time: Damien Sandow He recaps his WWE career. “I was told, to my face, that I was not entertaining enough”. He talks about the Mizdow gimmick and how he lost face with his peers but it gained him the support of the fans so he’s grateful for that. “Without you guys I would not be in the WWE right now”. He’s not sure what he’s going to do next but he’s interrupted by Curtis Axel. He brings the Hulk Hogan impression and Sandow fires it right back at him. It’s funny stuff. Sandow has a natural gift for mockery and Axel is already a joke. Sandow remains popular, which is a bonus. It was worrying where he’d go after the Mizdow angle ended. He’s talented enough to do something. Now have him come out here and mock John Cena the same way. Or Big Show, seeing as the giant cost him the chance of redemption at WrestleMania. Scoring points off Curtis Axel is easy. Give him a real challenge. Video Control takes us to Bray Wyatt. He makes cryptic remarks about Ryback, suggesting that he should “run”. King of the Ring Quarter Final Neville vs. Luke Harper Harper is a guy that frequently surprises with his willingness to make other people look good, which is a real positive for Neville. Harper is adaptable and can switch from brawling to selling and can take just about anything. Neville takes his opportunity but is noticeably less flashy than in the past. A mid-rope moonsault to the floor would have had a few twists in it on the Indies. The WWE have seen his control and that’s why he’s able to do his high flying stuff. Because he’s completely in control of where he lands, compared to the likes of Kidman and their botchy SSP’s. Neville takes a mean bump too and he bounces when Harper plants him with a sit-out powerbomb. The crowd supportively chant for Neville and “NXT”. Somewhere Triple H is smiling. Red Arrow finishes Harper off and Neville is going to the King of the Ring finals tomorrow night. Good match. Neville has been really consistent since coming up to the main roster. It makes you wonder how long it’ll be before they steal away Finn Balor, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn and Hideo Itami to take over the midcard on the main roster. In order to do that they’ll have to actually do something with the midcarders they currently have though. Final Rating: *** Randy Orton & Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins & Kane I really don’t have much to say about this. Seth stalls a lot. Kane looks way stronger than he should and the wrestling isn’t very good. Am I the only one who doesn’t want to see either Orton or Kane in the main event? Or Big Show? Where’s Brock Lesnar? There are a few positives. Roman Reigns continues to be rehabilitated. The crowd like him here, don’t boo anything and it allows the Authority to work dull heat on him and Roman to actually play face in peril. Also Seth Rollins continues to be capable in the ring, in spite of the WWE’s booking of his character as a gutless coward. Ultimately the WWE champion can’t be a complete coward. He has to stand up to challenges or he’s a weak champion and nobody gets over by beating him. The match’s big turning point is Seth hitting a tope, Orton moving and Kane getting hit. Only Kane isn’t in position for it and Rollins barely wings him. Kane’s temper tantrum that follows makes little sense because of that. Superman Punch and the RKO finish the champ off. Showing how weakened the champion’s position is if he has to face two opponents. Not that they’re trying to sway people into voting for a triple threat. Naturally that’s what the WWE fans have voted for, as revealed by Kane moments after the match and Roman spears the champ for good measure. Final Rating: *1/4 THE RAW RECAP: Most Entertaining: Neville Least Entertaining: Fandango & Adam Rose. Quote of the Night: “The Cryptkeeper, he’s an old relic from the 90s that no one cares about…you’re Kane” – Seth Rollins buries the Big Red Machine. Match of the Night: Neville vs. Luke Harper. A trend is developing; Neville’s match is match of the night on Raw. --- What We Said: Creatively redundant. Mind-numbingly predictable. At least we’ve got Neville to cheer for. There’s precious little else going on. The WWE seem intent on cutting the legs off anyone that’s not a hand-picked top guy. Dean Ambrose springs to mind but for all his wacky promos Bray Wyatt has been treading water for a very, very long time. Seriously though; here’s the WWE’s main event strategy this year: 1. Push Roman Reigns. He’s booed. 2. Push Roman Reigns. He’s still booed. 3. Put the belt on Seth Rollins. 4. Push Roman Reigns. I don’t mind Roman but isn’t that doing the same thing and expecting different results? I suppose I should expect it but it’d be nice if someone just randomly broke out of the pack and became a star based on their ability to be genuine. That’s what happened with Steve Austin, Mick Foley, The Rock and even Triple H when he walked away from DX to be the best heel in the company. The whole promotion needs a bloody good shake-up and wrestlers need to be let loose and wrestle. Or let loose and entertain. Either, really. At the moment everyone feels shackled and when something doesn’t work it’s not dropped, it becomes a three month long program. As if it’s vitally important for John Cena to face Rusev at four straight PPV’s. What they’re doing with his open challenge is far, far more interesting because it’s new and it’ll always be fresh. Whereas the Rusev angle is just patriotism recycled from the early 90s. Kudos to the WWE for bringing King of the Ring back. I always liked it. It’s just a pity that a) the tournament is so rushed and b) it’s lacking star power. As if it’s just a midcarders tournament. It’s clearly not anywhere near as important as even the US title or Rusev would have taken part. Verdict: 32
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AuthorJames Dixon and Arnold Furious. The poor sods have volunteered for this... Archives
January 2016
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